


If You Hear Me

by Out0fMyHead



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: AU, F/M, Flashbacks, Love, Post Hogwarts AU, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-13
Updated: 2017-08-12
Packaged: 2018-12-14 16:42:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11787222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Out0fMyHead/pseuds/Out0fMyHead
Summary: Severus Snape is in a state of perpetual sleep. Hermione talks to him, and looks back on the last year of their lives, building up to the war.





	1. Prologue ☽ If You Hear Me

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

She stared at the prone figure of her former professor. He lay with his eyes closed, his lips slightly parted as he took deep breaths in and out, slender, potions stained fingers were folded across his stomach.

He was sleeping, for all anyone could tell that was all, he was simply sleeping and would awaken whenever he was good and ready.

And didn’t that just make perfect sense? Knowing Severus Snape as well as she did, having observed him as his student for more than six years. Yes, it made perfect sense that he wouldn’t be waking up until he was ready.

“Ms. Granger, how are you feeling dear?” She was greeted by the mediwitch who had been taking care of Severus for the better part of the last week, she was one of the only ones willing to get anywhere near the wizard. Everyone seemed to be of the opinion that when he woke up it would be with wand blazing, attacking everyone in his general vicinity.

Hermione thought they were silly, it was silly to think a man as stoic, as controlled as Severus Snape would attack anyone without first evaluating the entirety of a situation, even if he was asleep.

“I’m well, thank you Helena, have you heard anything about your sister?” The brunette smiled, amber eyes sparkled as she turned to face the witch who was only a tad older than herself. She’d only just completed her Hogwarts education and gone on to her specialization four years prior. She was a new medic, and Hermione was glad she was such a good one.

“She’s had the baby, only just last night! Can you believe it? A healthy little girl!” The witch gushed, her eyes bright and her face tinged red with her excitement. Straight locks of blonde hair escaped her bun and made her look a bit frazzled, Hermione could imagine she must be. She would have been the one to deliver the baby, her sister had insisted.

“Congratulations! And what have they named her?” She grinned at the medic. It was easy to stuff her own unhappiness to the deepest recesses of her mind when she could focus on the happiness of others, and the birth of a baby was indeed the happiest of occasions.

“Her name is, well- I, I hope it does not bother you but…” She trailed, nibbling at her lip and Hermione shook her head.

“Why on earth would the name of a child bother me?” She waved a hand, the other hooking into her curls.

“Well, they’ve named her Hermione, you see, they want her to grow up to be as influential as you have been.” Hermione stopped moving, her stomach flipped over inside her and she couldn’t for the life of her remember how to breathe.

She was floored. She never would have expected anyone to name a child after her, her! It was absurd! She wasn’t anything special, she was no one in the grand scheme of things.

“Oh, well then, wow.” It was all she could manage, her eyes still wide on the mediwitch who gave her a broad smile.

“I told them that I knew you, that I was taking care of your _friend_ and that I was sure you wouldn’t mind, but that you may not quite understand why.” The blonde came around to the other side of Severus’ bed and began to straighten his sheets by hand, her wand forgotten for the moment as the witches were engaged in conversation.  
“You are one of the three most important people in saving our world, Ms. Granger, you have to know that so many witches, and even wizards look up to you. The muggleborn witch who used her wits and complex knowledge of magic to save us from the greatest threat we’ve ever known.” The witch looked down at Severus’ hand, his fingers twitched, a normal occurrence.

He seemed to be locked in a dream for the better part of his time asleep, twitching, his eyes moving behind their lids, but not waking.

“I understand, do tell your sister how flattered I am.” Hermione managed with all the grace of a heffalump- she thought- before she said her goodbyes and watched as the mediwitch left the room.

Amber eyes drifted back to the sleeping wizard atop the bed and she shook her head, exhaling a deep breath.

“I don’t know if you can hear me, Severus, but I know you must agree, how ridiculous it is people are naming children after me. It’s mad.” She brushed a hand through her hair, watching the wizard’s unmoving face for a moment.  
“If you can hear me, I hope you wake up soon.”


	2. One ☽ If You Forgive me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

“Harry, I don’t think it’s a good idea to dwell on the past. We need to be moving on.” Hermione lay her menu down in front of her and watched her friend with what could only be described as a scrutinizing gaze.

Obviously, they would all need time to deal with their demons but immediately jumping to the conclusion that Draco Malfoy was up to something, again, when he was on house arrest- well, that was just pushing it.

“It makes perfect sense, with his father dead he’ll want to have revenge.” Ron lay his own menu down, his blue eyes sparking with passion. It always happened when he talked about the evil Malfoy family. Hermione thought he was biased, and not in a good way.

“It’s only been a week since the man received the kiss Ronald! I’m more than certain he’s mourning the death of his father! What could he possibly be up to when he has aurors tracking his every move?” Hermione chewed her lip, amber eyes flicking to Harry, he ran a hand through floppy black hair and sighed to himself.

“I know, I know it seems silly but I swear, why would he write me if he weren’t up to something?” Hermione cleared her throat, took a drink of her lemon water, and sighed to herself.

“Look, if you’re so concerned that he’s up to no good, ignore the letter, it isn’t as if he’s holding a wand to your throat to force you to write him back. Honestly though, I think he is just trying to make amends.” She put a hand on his arm, her face soft.  
“We all have so much healing to do.” Her voice had dropped several octaves and he gave a slight nod. Ron snorted and took a long swig of his cider, his nose wrinkled.

“I still think he’s up to no good.”

“You would think a nargle was up to no good.”

“We all know those aren’t real.” He rebutted with a grunt.

“Exactly.” Hermione smirked and went back to her menu.

To be honest she adored going out with her friends, she enjoyed more than anything to spend time with them but they often gave her a headache.

“Thank you for listening, ‘Mi.” Harry kissed her cheek when it was time for the trio to part ways, Ron to the Burrow, Harry to Grimmauld, and Hermione back to St. Mungo’s where she’d been keeping a close eye on Severus Snape.

Much to the displeasure of both of her best friends.

“I’m always here, Harry.” Ron looked a bit put out and she shook her head. “For you as well, Ron.”

He muttered something that sounded suspiciously bitter under his breath before each left via apparition.

☽

“Honestly Severus, he can be such a git.” Hermione grumbled, entering the hospital room and taking in the prone figure of the Potions Master. His black hair was brushed back from his face and his eyelids were twitching rapidly.

“As if he thinks we will suddenly be a couple now the war is over. Well, why didn’t he pay attention to me when I was _actually_ _interested_ in him? It makes no sense, you wizards, none of you make any sense.” She sighed and slumped into her seat beside his bed.

A soft knock at the door snapped her from her reverie a few moments later and she turned to find Helena, the medic stood in the doorway.

“Have they made a decision yet?” She asked tiredly, her eyes were bleary but she was holding out. She’d been waiting for a decision on what would happen with Severus for nearly as long as he’d been in St. Mungo’s.

She wanted to take him home with her, she was more than capable of caring for him, and would do a much better job in her own home. Somehow, she just knew the room he was in did no good in waking him.

She’d want to sleep if she were trapped there as well.

“They’ve decided the month-long observation is enough. You have the Headmistress of Hogwarts vouching you are the closest to a relative he has living and the word of Mister Kingsley. Minister of magic and Headmistress of Hogwarts are two incredibly difficult people to argue with, even for those running this place.” Helena smiled, Hermione felt her stomach flip in excitement. That meant they were going to let her take him home, there she could really get to work on figuring out why he was still asleep, and what she could do for him.  
“I sure am going to miss seeing your face here though.” Helena smiled and wrapped Hermione in a hug when the younger witch threw herself into her arms. Their hug was brief but Hermione’s excitement was written clear across her face.

“Thank you so much, I know you have been integral in getting this done as well. Please, you will write me won’t you. I need to know all about that niece of yours named after me, after all.” Hermione grinned, Helena agreed before she helped the brunette begin to gather up the wizard’s belongings.

“You will let me know when he wakes up, won’t you?” Helena smiled as she lifted the sleeping wizard from his bed with a charm and Hermione gave an emphatic nod.

“Of course I will, you were the only one around here brave enough to come near him.” She stroked a lock of hair back from his face.  
“He wasn’t a bad man, just misunderstood.”

“So you’ve said.” Helena smiled. Hermione gave the witch one more hug before, very carefully adding her own charm to levitate the wizard and leaving with him.

She was glad her home was attached to the floo network or she may have looked a sight trying to transport him.

☽

“Forgive me Severus, I know that you must not want to wake up. If you did you would be awake, wouldn’t you? But no, you have to be stubborn and so- I’m going to figure out how to wake you up, and when I do, well, I just hope you will forgive me.” His hand twitched and Hermione grasped it in hers, a sigh drifting from her lips.

She could remember the day, incredibly clearly, that their relationship had changed. She could remember it as if it was just a day earlier, and not an entire year before.

_Hermione was sat, curled in the library, soft cries that she barely managed to muffle with a hand bubbling up from her throat. She’d managed to remain unnoticed in the darkened corner of the library she occupied and she wanted to keep it that way._

_She was afraid, afraid that if Madam Pince found her sobbing over one of the precious books, marring it with her tears that she would be banned from the library for life._

_She couldn’t have that, it was the only place she could go, the only sanctuary from her friends._

_“Why in Salazar’s name are you destroying that book with your tears, Ms. Granger.” A cold voice drifted from above her and her eyes shot up to see one of the last people she would have desired to find her in such a state._

_Professor Snape lingered above her, black eyes trained on her face and stance rigid as he stared down at her. She wiped at her eyes with the back of her hand, her robes’ sleeve drying her tear and scratching the sensitive skin as she tried to straighten herself._

_“It’s nothing Professor, I apologize if I disturbed you.”_

_“I said nothing about being disturbed. I inquired as to why you are blubbering over an Advanced Charms tome, Ms. Granger. Surely there are better places to release your teenage emotions.” His voice had that same bite, the one she was incredibly familiar with and she sighed, closed her book and barely managed to pull herself from the floor without smashing into him._

_“Have you ever had your heart broken, Professor?” She tipped her head. She was more than certain she caught him off guard when his breath stalled and his rigid stance grew even more so, though if asked she wouldn’t have thought it was possible._

_“That is not an appropriate question at all, Ms. Granger.”_

_“No, I don’t suppose it is, is it? But then, you asked didn’t you? Why I was blubbering, as you put it, in the library. Well, there you have it. My heart is broken, and the culprit, the shallow bastard who cares for no one but himself hates the library. Absolutely despises it.” She took a deep breath, her hands clenched into fists at her sides.  
“So, I say again, I apologize if I disturbed you, Professor. I will gladly find somewhere else to release my teenage emotions.” She pushed past him, her head down as she fled the castle and soon found herself leant against a tree outside, near the Lake._

_She enjoyed the soft breeze, cooled by the water it drifted across before it caressed her face and she wasn’t even remotely aware she’d been followed._

_“Ms. Granger, I apologize for being so callous, matters of the heart are complicated.” She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t startled when her eyes shot open to find the Professor stood directly in front of her._

_She cocked an eyebrow and blinked a few times, trying to understand exactly what was happening._

_“Not that I don’t appreciate the sentiment, Professor, but you don’t like me, in the slightest, why did you bother coming out here at all?”_

_“Because…” He ran a hand through his black hair, his eyes trailed her face for a brief moment before he shook his head.  
“It was a mistake.”_

_And like that he was gone, leaving her watching him as he drifted away, up to the castle and out of sight._

Hermione marked that as the day that her relationship with Professor Snape began, in all of its complicated glory.

And it was complicated, because after all, it was difficult to have an uncomplicated relationship with such a complicated man.


	3. Two ☽ If You See Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Hermione glared at the vial in front of her, it was clearly the color of moss when in reality it needed to be the bright green of spring grass. She groaned and disposed of the potion in the way she’d been instructed, time and again, before she turned back to her cauldron.

Was it really so difficult to brew a rennervating potion? She didn’t recall it being so difficult.

She was certain though that she was being far too critical of the potions she’d managed to brew thus far. Still, she wouldn’t put a potion to Severus’ lips that wasn’t exactly right.

She would never dare try to feed him a potion that could cause him illness, pain, or any type of grief.

She never, never wanted him to feel grief as he had felt it that year she grew close to him.

_Hermione glared, Ron and Lavender were at it again, snogging against a wall just inside her line of vision. They were sat in the Potion’s lab, waiting for Professor Snape to enter and there were mere minutes before the start of class._

_She scoffed as she settled beside Harry, her face annoyed as she glanced back at the pair again who were rubbing their bodies against one another._

_“Get a room.” Malfoy grunted as he walked past them, earning a dirty look before the couple resumed their activities._

_They broke apart just before Snape came sweeping into the room and Ron settled into his seat on the other side of Harry. It was clear they wouldn’t be brewing as the tables were set up in rows of three, it looked like they would be doing quite a lot of note-taking and writing. In fact._

_“Please, do not hurry to retrieve your supplies simply because I am here. I will gladly wait until the class is ready to begin, despite my status as Professor.” Snape cocked an eyebrow, eyes trailing the class as students began to scramble to retrieve their books and parchment, quills drifted to the floor and ink pots smacked onto the tables._

_Hermione could only watch, half bemused, half annoyed as those around her gathered their belongings. Hers, were of course, already set up on her table, organized perfectly and ready for the start of the lesson._

_Snape crossed his arms across his abdomen and gave them all a dark look before his eyes landed on her._

_She almost winced, almost, instead she managed to keep her face blank while he stared down at her._

_“Ms. Granger, detention for being entirely too insufferable.” He ground out, she squeaked, opened her mouth to speak, and then slammed it shut at the look on his face._

_When he turned, black hair facing them Harry leaned in closer to her and gave her a side-hug._

_“Seems he’s after you today.” He sounded sorry, he always did when someone was in Snape’s sights, he was, after all, very accustomed to being the person the Professor locked in on._

_“Yeah, wonder what’s got his knickers in a twist.” Ron wrinkled his nose, Hermione shot him a dark look but said nothing._

_Snape however was more than happy to speak in reply. “Twenty points from Gryffindor. Do be quiet in my class.”_

_Hermione wrinkled her nose but made certain to stay under his line of sight for the rest of the class, keeping her face down and her eyes on her paper as he spoke._

_When it finally ended, she was one of the first out of the room, completely unlike herself, and made her way directly outside where she took deep, heaving breaths of the rapidly cooling air._

_The fact Potions class was directly before lunch had not been lost on her as being a good thing since the beginning of the year. She’d had a harder time being around people, she’d had a hard time catching her breath since the start of term._

_Sighing she settled herself in a secluded spot, far from the lake, and from the other students who were outside, enjoying the cool weather that would not yet manage to drop snow on them for a month or so more._

_She knew that Ron and Lavender would be off snogging, Harry would be doing whatever it was he did when he avoided them, Ginny was more than likely on the quidditch pitch._

_She pulled her knees up to her chest. It was rare in a school so filled with students one managed to feel alone. Unfortunately, that was exactly the feeling she was experiencing, and she wasn’t fond of it._

☽

_“I’m here for detention, sir?” Hermione leant around the door, it was cracked open when she made to knock on it and swung further at her small tap._

_Professor Snape sat behind his desk, his hair shielding his face as he stared down at papers, his quill scratching violently across the parchment. She stood, just inside the doorway, waiting for him to have a moment to look up at her in his grading, her hands folded in front of her._

_She was chilled, her hands cold wrapped around one another. She’d just come in from a mock Quidditch match, watching as the Gryffindor team split in half to play against one another. They were bound and determined to beat Slytherin._

_“Yes, Ms. Granger.” He was staring at her now, taking her in with those darker than night eyes and she shivered, though she wasn’t sure it was from the cold this time. She took a few steps forward and stopped, waiting for him to speak._

_When he didn’t she furrowed her brow and cleared her throat._

_“Shall I clean cauldrons, or perhaps you would prefer I organize something?” She was fidgeting, rocking from side to side on her feet and Snape cocked an eyebrow at her, a signature motion she couldn’t imagine his face without._

_“Yes, well, it seems I was a bit abrupt in assigning your detention. All of those things are being seen to, as such you shall assist me with grading.” A flick of his wand drew a chair to his desk and she took hesitant steps forward, settling into the offered seat when she finally made her way to the front of the room._

_“I see. Okay sir.” She glanced down at the parchments he slapped down in front of her, a pot of red ink appearing, quill stood at attention. She chewed her lip for a second as she glanced over the papers. First year assignments, it wouldn’t be difficult grading then._

_“I expect silence and quick work. We have much to grade.” He spoke quietly, much more so than when there were other students around and she took a second to observe the side of his face while he was staring down at the parchments in front of him._

_He wasn’t handsome, not in the traditional sense that one would see in Harry, or Ron, but there was something striking about him. He was pale, deathly so and his nose was far too large, and pointed but it settled nicely in his sharp face. He was smooth shaven, stubble free always, and the long black locks of hair that fell lankly around his face looked as if they could do with a nice wash, but were otherwise an attractive contrast with his skintone._

_It was his voice, however, that had always managed to melt her. She could have listened to him talk for hours, days even without growing bored, smooth as silk, a deep dark velvet that settled on one’s skin and left them wanting more._

_“Do you have a problem Ms. Granger?” It was that voice that snapped her from her thoughts, the sharp black eyebrow in his hair line that made her flush bright red and turn away, her eyes locking onto the parchments in front of her._

_“No sir, I apologize, I was distracted.”_

_“Yes well, let us not become distracted again.” He smirked when her eyes flicked to him again and she could feel her face burn. Oh gods, he’d caught her gawking at him._

_She was just glad Ron and Harry weren’t around, she never would have lived such a thing down._

_“Grading Ms. Granger.” He cleared his throat and she jumped, her shaking hand snatched the quill from the ink pot and she began to mark lines._

_She needed to get herself in order.  
Quickly._

Hermione shook her head, her eyes lighting on Severus, her Severus, still prone, still sleeping.

“Do you remember, Severus, when we passed in the halls, you would do everything you could not to look at me?” She exhaled, her eyes drifting away from him to the clock on the mantle. Their room was equipped with a fireplace, of course, he would not have settled for anything less.

She smiled remembering the way he would stare into the fire for hours, his mind far away.

“I remember, very well, the way you would avoid my eyes. The way you wouldn’t look at me even if I was shouting, even if I had thrown myself from the astronomy tower I don’t think you would have looked at me.” She chuckled, shook her head and ran a hand through her hair.

She’d changed into her pajamas while she was lost in thought and she pulled herself into the bed beside him, her head on his shoulder as she watched the side of his face.

“But I looked at you. I looked at you so often I’m almost certain I’ve memorized your every feature, every little line that creases your face. I watched you so closely that I began to worry for myself.” She snuggled her face against him, took a deep breath of his lingering scent of potions and herbs and sighed to herself.

“Yes, I watched you more than anyone would have thought healthy, even when you wouldn’t look at me.”


	4. Three ☽ If You Help Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Hermione jammed her thumb against the tabletop she was working on, hissing in irritation and immediately shoving the injured appendage in her mouth.

“Damnit.” She growled when she finally pulled the purpling digit free and glared at it, tried to move it and hissed again in pain and irritation.  
“Get your head in the game, Granger.” She muttered to herself and turned back to the ingredients sprawled across the table top.

A frustrated tear escaped her eye, followed by another, and another, and before she really understood what was happening she was settled on the floor, sobbing out the stress of the last several months. She glanced back to Severus, still asleep on the bed and cried harder.

“I need you, damnit!”

_“Ms. Granger, if you would kindly accompany me to my potions lab, I have need of your assistance.” She was pulled from the pages of her latest reading endeavor by a stern, silken voice._

_She blinked, glanced down at her page and marked it with a finger as she spun in place to see the looming figure of their potions master a statue above her, his posture stiff. She wet her lips, cocked an eyebrow, and gave a small nod._

_“Of course sir, what can I help you with?” She furrowed her brow as he stepped back to give her space to stand fully and cleared his throat, his posture spoke of stress upon stress. She knew the man was tired by the sunken cheeks and sallow skin, she knew he was a man who carried the weight of the world on his shoulders- even if it was unnecessary._

_“Yes, well, this is a matter of a- sensitive- nature, we will discuss further what will be expected of you when we are in closed quarters.” He turned on his heel and began to walk, not giving her a chance to speak further. She shuffled her feet for a second before shaking her head and taking off after him at an uncomfortable pace._

_His long legs kept him several paces in front of her for the entire journey, even with her struggle to keep up and by the time they were in the dungeons, secured in his potions lab she was panting to catch her breath._

_“One’s health is of the utmost importance, Ms. Granger, perhaps you should consider recreation outside of reading?” She gave him a dark glare, her eyes narrowed on him, a dark tower of a man stood in the middle of the room, arms folded across his chest._

_“Or perhaps, just maybe, you shouldn’t make me run to keep up with you and then it wouldn’t be a problem.” She cocked an eyebrow. She wasn’t sure what made her feel she could talk to the man as such but he was infuriating, and the setting felt- different._

_It of course didn’t help that she was quite stretched to the limit herself, with Harry being a complete arse- one who didn’t tell her anything, and Ron snogging Lavender Brown- the cow- all of the time. She found herself secluded for the most part, denied her friends, and Dumbledore had her working on outside projects that stole what little sleep she could spare._

_And then on top of it all were her studies, her dubious parents, who wanted to know everything that was going on and were terribly frustrated that she wasn’t providing them with answers._

_-How could they understand though? They’d never been part of the world of magic, they wouldn’t be able to comprehend the threat to her and those like her. No, they would take it with their muggle ideals and not understand the threat on their lives, the best she could do was tell them they were dealing with- as she called it- a ‘Hitler Situation’ and leave them for the most part in the dark._

_And they nagged her, quite regularly to come home, to cut her ties and be safe._

_She couldn’t do that either.  
They meant well, and Merlin she didn’t want anything to happen to them, or that they should worry for her._

_“Ms. Granger, have I completely lost you?” She blinked back to reality, her eyes threatening tears of frustration that she swallowed down, letting them form a lump in her throat._

_“No, no, I’m sorry sir. You were saying?” She cleared her throat, and attempt to demolish that bloody lump but it stuck, and she had to focus on the thin lips of her Professor moving._

_She tuned her ears back to the matter at hand and tried to give the wizard her full attention, no matter how her mind tried to wander._

_“Your task will not be an easy one. I am aware Albus has you doing quite a lot of research and as remiss as I am to add further stress on a student I have been made aware that you are of age, and as such have been invited to join the Order of the Phoenix. You have skills in Occlumens and Legilimens, do you not? Skills from attempting what must have been the overwhelming task of teaching Potter.” He raised both eyebrows and Hermione took a deep breath, chewing her bottom lip subconsciously as she tried to suss out exactly what he was on about._

_Yes, Dumbledore had asked her to help Harry at least- in part- master some form of mental work, and of course she’d poured herself into the task, trying for all she was to become as accomplished in both as possible in order to help her friend._

_What did that have to do with anything? He’d been the one to deem Harry incapable and force him to cease all training exercises._

_“Yes, of course sir, while my knowledge is by no means as advanced as your own I have been told I am proficient.” He tapped his chin, watching her with dark eyes. Her stomach tightened, she had to fight the urge to look away._

_“Albus has called you proficient, I assume?” He watched her, his face set in an oddly grim line for a man who showed so little of his inner thoughts. She gave a slight nod, her hands balling and releasing at her sides._

_She wanted to know what was going on, it was driving her mad not knowing._

_“Then you are far more advanced than I had hoped.” He turned, strode up to his desk and leant against the dark wood, his black eyes roving over her once more, taking her in and he inhaled a breath.  
“I have knowledge, Ms. Granger, knowledge that, should it be known, would be detrimental to so many. I assume, as one of Potter’s closest friends I can trust that nothing we say in this room goes beyond you?”_

_“I would never do anything to hurt Harry.” Or you, she thought, but didn’t bother to say it out loud. He wasn’t a man for sentiments, and she wasn’t going to share sentiments that were unwelcome._

_No matter how she’d watched him, observed him, admired him over the last several weeks._

_Yes, she definitely had a problem, but there were matters at hand that were so much larger than that._

_“I know.” He gave her a long look that made her stomach flip. She didn’t realize he had such faith in her, having that faith from McGonagall and Dumbledore were serious matters, but having it from him of all people, well, that felt just a little like winning a muggle lottery.  
“I require a sounding board, Ms. Granger, an assistant of sorts to listen, to assist, and with whom I know my secrets will be kept. I will of course work with you to sharpen your skills as both an Occlumens and Legilimens, as well as help you excel- more than you already have- in potions. I require someone with a firm knowledge in multiple subjects, including healing. Our meetings have grown much more dangerous of late, and unfortunately the Dark Lord’s mind is slipping further and further into madness, he has gone from a Lord who prefers only to punish when he sees completely necessary to enjoying the finer aspects of some quite painful curses.”_

_Hermione gave a nod, knowing that there were times his classes were cancelled, or covered by another professor, she had understood almost immediately that it was due to injuries.  
She was far more perceptive than others gave her credit for, after all._

_“You will of course expect something in return.” He cleared his throat, spindly fingers worked through long black locks and she shook her head, her eyes averting for a moment before coming back to his face._

_“No, to have the opportunity to work with a genius, to help Harry, to protect other **mudbloods** , that is reward enough for me.” The word was said with disdain, dripping with a venom that her usually sweet- if not a bit haughty- tone did not typically portray._

_“That word is a plague on us all, Ms. Granger.” She gave a nod.  
“If it is settled then, you will take your position as apprentice beginning tomorrow. That will be the given name for your role and you will tell no one more than this, I have your word?”_

_“You have my word.” She felt the magic of a verbal contract swirl around her and watched his eyes closed as it did the same with him._

_“Good, then run along, I will expect you after dinner every evening. I will of course be certain you have time for your other responsibilities as well. It is not my desire to stretch you so thin that you snap, Ms. Granger.” She shook her head, curls bounced around her face and she brushed them back._

_“I’ll be fine, sir.” What she really wanted to say was that she was already so near that point that she wasn’t sure this added stress wouldn’t do just that. She couldn’t though, she couldn’t deny anything that was required of her._

_She would do everything in her power to make sure they won this war, everything._

Her tears had dried, allowing herself to slip into the memories of what shouldn’t have seemed like simpler times did everything to calm her.

It took a bit of work to pull herself from the floor but when she did she sighed, looked over her ingredients again, and then glanced back to the sleeping figure behind her.

When she’d made the promise to herself to do everything to win the war, she’d, at the same time, sworn she would do anything in her power to lighten the load of the man behind her. She’d taken half of that weight, half of all of the weight he carried and settled it on her shoulders too.

“I wish you would wake up, git.” She grumbled, and turned back to the table. At least if he was awake he could help her sort out how to wake him up.

But of course, then she wouldn’t be in the position she was in at all, would she?


	5. Four ☽ If You Need Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

"How are things with Snape?" Harry questioned, Hermione swallowed her mouthful of tea and sighed, settling the cup on the low end table beside her.

"Who cares about the git, he can sleep forever." Ron grumbled, twitching slightly at the dark look cast in his direction by both of his friends. Hermione inhaled and settled back into the sofa she shared with Harry. Ron sunk into the chair he occupied.

"He's fine, still sleeping in the other room. He doesn't seem interested in waking up." A scoff from Ron, Harry covered the hand that was settled on her knee with his own.

"How are you, 'Mi?" He was staring at her hard, green eyes concerned and she sighed, her hand flipping to twine their fingers.

"I'm a lot better with you two visiting." She gave an honest smile, despite Ron's grumblings she was happy to have them both there. Her home was incredibly quiet with Severus asleep and her home empty of friends and family.

"We love you Hermione, don't forget we're always here for you." Harry gave her fingers a squeeze and she smiled, a soft nod.

"I know you are, I love you both as well. Now, can we talk about happier subjects! I hear you responded to Draco's letter?" She cocked an eyebrow, her tone perking. Harry blinked, a confused look on his face.

"I did, but- how did you find out?"

"You don't think you were the only one he wanted to make amends with, do you?" She gave a sly smile.

"You, umm, why didn't you tell me before?" He sounded baffled and hooked his fingers through wild black locks. Hermione squeezed his hand that still held hers and shook her head.

"I didn't want you to make your decision based on what I chose to do, it was for you to make that choice, not for me to make it for you."

"Hey! Why didn't I get a letter." Hermione flicked amber eyes to the still sulking redhead.

"He said, and I quote 'I suppose you can tell that major prick Weasley I am sorry for any wrongs I have done him, if you think it will make a difference, which I highly doubt.'" Harry quoted with a chuckle and Hermione gave a nod.

"He said the same thing to me, I honestly didn't think you'd take it well, Ron." She raised both eyebrows, he huffed but gave a little nod.

"I wouldn't have." He shook his head with a little smile and red hair flopped around on his head. "Why is it only strange to me that we're getting along with Slytherin, Death Eater scum?"

"Don't speak like that about my family in my home." Hermione shot him a hard look and he pursed his lips.

"He's not really your family."

"Damnit Ron, I thought we had an agreement when we decided to come?" Harry grunted, giving Hermione a look.  
"I'm sorry, he promised he wouldn't go there."

"It's fine, Ron, just because we hadn't had a chance to bond yet doesn't mean he's any less that man in my heart. You have to understand, there were things we did- that we saw through together..." She trailed, her fingers leaving Harry's and her hands hooking together in her lap, her eyes locked on them.

"He's not right for you, greasy old git." Ron grumbled and crossed his arm. "You can't deny that mark on his arm Hermione, no matter how much you want to." He hissed out and she gave him a long look, her eyebrows furrowed, amber eyes darkening dangerously.

"Get out of my home." Her voice was dangerously quiet, flat.

"You can't be serious, c'mon 'Mione, just because you don't want to hear the truth..." Harry cut him off with a look.

"I think we should go now, Ron you need to stop." Hermione glared at the redhead as Harry spoke.

"No! She needs to hear this! He brainwashed her or something, she's confused!" Ron nearly yelled, standing. Before she really realized what she was doing she had picked up her tea cup and launched it at his head, her body shaking with her rage.

"Get out of our home now!" She cried, the tears of frustrated rage welling in her eyes as she shook, her face pinched.

"I'm so sorry, 'Mi, come on." She could hear Harry say a few more things as they left, telling Ron how much of an idiot he was. She fell back into the sofa, her hands covering her face.

_"He is such a jerk!" Hermione cried, her bookbag slammed down by the wall of the potions lab she spent all of her free time in. Snape was watching her with raised eyebrows, an amused glint in his dark eyes. She sighed and finally turned her gaze to the wizard._

_"And who is the 'he' we are referring to today, Ms. Granger?" He cocked an eyebrow and she heaved a breath, undoing her robes and tossing them atop her bookbag. She wore a comfortable green tee-shirt and jeans beneath, it was a relief to be out of her school robes._

_Snape crossed his arms across his chest but said nothing. She was slowly taking more liberties in his presence, growing comfortable with him._

_"We are referring to Ronald Weasley, Master Snape." She groaned, hooking her fingers into her hair and shaking her curls, loosening them and easing some of the tension on her scalp. "Honestly, how stupid can a wizard be. First you want to snog Lavender, well that's just fine, then you want to flirt with me! Well! No-oh sir!" She ranted, her face burning bright red when she realized exactly who she was ranting in front of._

_Amusement glinted in the wizard's eyes as she settled her hip against one of the many tables that edged the lab._

_"You are an incredibly clever witch, Ms. Granger, there is no reason to let any wizard treat you as any less than you are worth." He crossed his arms across his chest and gave a little nod, black hair swayed around his face. Hermione heaved a sigh and shook her head, letting her hair cover her face._

_"Well, it's been made abundantly clear I'm not worth much, sir, I haven't the time for boys anyway, I suppose." She humphed, Snape made a noise that sounded surprisingly like a snort, drawing her eyes._

_"You haven't the time for boys regardless, you are worthy of a man who knows how best to treat a witch." He'd moved closer while she'd been looking away and she was surprised to find him standing right in front of her._

_"Thank you for that, Professor." She gave him a soft smile, one she found herself giving less and less as the days passed._

_"Shall we begin your lesson?" He spoke softly, the same as he always did when they were alone together and she gave a little nod, taking a deep breath of the soft scent of herbs that drifted from his robes._

_"Yes, I can never wait for my headache." She smirked at the devious glint in his eyes and the shake of his head._

_"Such a mouthy witch."_

_"Who will be assaulting who today?" She ignored his accusation and walked ahead of him toward his private study. She could feel his eyes on her back as she caressed the silken tapestry that covered the doorway and it opened for her._

Hermione crawled into her bed, her eyes heavy and tired when she calmed down from Ron's words.

It didn't matter what he had to say, it didn't matter that Severus bore the dark mark. The only thing that mattered was the way he treated her, and that she had promised to devote her life to him.

That didn't change because he was injured, it didn't change because he was asleep, and it certainly wasn't going to change because Ronald Weasley had a negative opinion of him.

She smoothed black hair back from his face as she curled against his side and settled against him. She loved him, and nothing was going to change that.


	6. Five ☽ If You Catch Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Hermione lay in the bed beside Severus, her eyes locked on the ceiling and her fingers curled around his. She took comfort in the way he would squeeze her finger intermittently, despite the fact he was still in quite a deep sleep. They'd been home for less than a month and she still hadn't quite come up with anything to wake him.

She was working on it, of course she was, she wanted nothing more than to have him back.

She'd even begun to miss his winning personality. She chuckled to herself.

Rolling onto her side she stared at his face, soft lines and lax in sleep. At least he wasn't suffering, he'd shown no signs of nightmares, no signs of stress.

No, he seemed to be peaceful, and she honestly at times didn't want to take that from him.

"I love you." She nuzzled his cheek, lifted to press a soft kiss to his lips and rolled from the bed. She needed to prepare for work and head to Hogwarts. She was working as a temporary fill-in for him, teaching potions and trying to get her NEWTs completed in the meantime.

Undressing, the restroom door open, she slipped into the shower and took her time getting ready. It wasn't as if he needed the shower next, after all.

☽

Hermione stared over the railing of the stairs, a tear in her eye as she looked from one level of the castle to the one below.

_"Miss Granger, what in Merlin's name are you doing?" Hermione twisted, eyes wide as she stared down at the owner of the familiar voice._

_"Well, I thought it might be fun to hang around a bit, you know, see the sights." She grunted, sarcastically, earning a smirk from the wizard below._

_"I had no idea you were a thrill seeker, Miss Granger." She groaned, her fingers ached. In truth she'd been shoved, rather roughly while walking too near the open edge of the stairway. Her bag had caught on the rail and when the stairs began to move they jerked away, knocking her into quite the uncomfortable position._

_"I thought this wasn't meant to be possible?" She grumbled, her eyes locked on the wizard below, he looked to be doing his best not to snigger at her. She was glad, she was at just the right angle to begin tossing things at him._

_At that thought she realized something else- he was at just the right angle to be staring up her robes, and thusly the skirt she'd chosen to wear that day._

_"Look away!" She screeched, trying to fold her legs together, the action earned a snort from the professor below._

_"Would you like for me to leave you to your own devices then? Perhaps you will be able to sort matters for yourself?" He cocked an eyebrow, Hermione felt like she was going to cry, her stomach flipped uncomfortably._

_"Professor...Severus, please help me?" She sounded pitiful to her own ears, black eyes went wide and he cleared his throat, his face turned away from her for a second. Her heart fell, he wasn't really going to leave her like this, was he? He turned back with his wand pointed in her direction and she felt her plummeted heart jump right into her throat._

_Bloody thing needed to make a decision._

_"Do you trust me, Hermione?" She wanted to snort, what an idiotic question, she trusted the man with her life._

_"Of course!" She called just before he cast her fingers released the spot they'd been grasping as she began to float downward, her fall slowed quite considerably, he reached out into the open air, caught her, and the spell fell away, instantly leaving her feeling heavy and nauseated. He held her tightly for a few moments, as if she were a nearly broken piece of china, she could feel his heart pound in his chest against her side but she wouldn't look, her eyes were pinched shut._

_"Look at me, Hermione." He coaxed, still not setting her down though she was well aware they were as far from the stairways as he could get them in several strides. Her eyes popped open and she was staring into sparkling onyx, her own heart was hammering violently against her ribs.  
"You are okay now, you are perfectly safe." He exhaled, his eyes still locked with hers and she gave him a soft smile, her heart slowing to a normal pace._

_She wondered briefly why he was still clutching her like her life depended on it but decided not to question it. They'd been spending more and more time together, she listened to him, helped him determine courses of action, and he trained her._

_She was glad she'd not been forced to heal him yet, though she knew it could happen at any time._

_"Thank you for helping me, Severus." His pupils dilated, she chewed her lip subconsciously, her hand against his chest as he held her still._

_Finally, after a few moments of staring he shifted her to settle her on her feet, tipping her so that the front of her body slid down his until she landed delicately on her toes and settled to her flat feet._

_He was still giving her that intense stare that made her chest ache and she held the front of his robes bunched in her fingers, not quite willing to let go just yet._

_She wasn't sure what was happening, they seemed to be having some kind of moment and she didn't want to ruin it by analyzing it._

_"I believe your bag is scattered on the first floor." His voice was low, his breath smelled of firewhiskey, almost intoxicating._

_"Thank you." She exhaled, her own tone quieter than she intended as she continued to stare up at him, his head tipped down, hair tickling at the sides of her temple and making her shiver._

_"You are not experiencing any symptoms of shock, are you?" He had his hands up on her arms now, she realized she was shaking beyond just that shiver, his eyes raked over her face, inspecting her._

_"I'm just a little shaken."_

_"I will speak with the headmaster about this error in the stairs, please do be careful in the future." His voice was gravelly, deep and rumbling as he looked her over one more time. His hands fell away and the moment was lost._

_She released his robes, smoothed the fabric and took a step back, tucked a thick strand of curls behind her ear._

_"Yes sir, I should be- um- getting my bag and going to class now." He gave a nod of affirmation and she turned, her eyes cast over her shoulder before she made her way back to the stairway._

_"I will see you this evening, Miss Granger."_

_"Yes sir." She blinked and took off, going down the stairs much faster than someone who'd nearly fallen to their death from them should have._

_She finally let out the breath she'd been holding when she made it to the bottom and found her wand beside her bag, blessedly undamaged._

_Hermione repaired her books and made her way to class- if only she'd been able to focus._

☽

_"I spoke with Albus on your incident this afternoon." Snape was nearly directly on the other side of the door when she entered his office after a long day of classes. She clutched her chest, her heart flipped inside her and he cocked an eyebrow._

_"You startled me, aren't you usually in your lab when I arrive?" She exhaled, trying to still her racing heart. She'd been jumpy lately, that was true.  
She'd been receiving threatening messages, it was easy to feel jumpy._

_She really needed to tell Snape, she also really didn't want to pile more on top of him._

_"Are you still worried from the incident earlier? I've been assured it was a fluke, it happens, though it is rare." The concern that gleamed out of his eyes made her stomach clench, a flurry of jumping beans assaulting her insides._

_"No, no, that's not it, sorry, I've just had a lot on my mind lately." She took a deep breath.  
"So, what are we doing today?" She wanted to change the subject, he watched her face for a long moment._

_"What is going on, Hermione?" His eyes were boring into hers and she let her shoulders drop. She should have known he wouldn't let the subject slide._

_He was too attentive, he noticed everything. If she was being honest she was surprised he'd not figured her out sooner._

_"It's nothing really, I don't want to worry you." She made to turn away, unfortunately he caught her by the shoulders and forced her to face him, his head dipping slightly.  
"Professor..."_

_"Severus, if you can use it when you are in danger you can use it anytime we are alone." She flushed, her eyes averted, she was staring at a jar on his desk, filled with green liquid and what looked to be the spleen of a house-elf inside. His collection never ceased to disturb and fascinate._

_A hand left her shoulder and with a forefinger he tipped her face up to look into his, her stomach clenched._

_"Hermione, what is it? I promise I will never let anything happen to you." A lump forced its way into her throat._

_Gods did he have to be so sweet, so compassionate? Why couldn't he be the bastard he pretended to be all of the time?_

_"I've received some, rather alarming messages." She finally exhaled, like a weight being pulled from her shoulders, she hated that she had to share it with him. She couldn't lie to him though, not with him staring into her face._

_Dark eyes narrowed, glistening like dark diamonds, dangerous in the low light of his office._

_"Who?"_

_"I'm not certain on the specifics, only that they would like to see me dead. Many of the threats revolve around my time spent at home, over the Winter break." He hissed, his hands coming up to cup her face and she watched him, fascinated._

_"You can't leave then, you will have to stay." She gave a soft nod, her eyes sad._

_"I know, it's just my parents, I worry for them." She admitted, unable to look away from those fascinating eyes._

_"I have an idea, Hermione, I do not think that you will like it, however." He exhaled and she gave a soft nod, his hands fell to hold her neck, her hair caught on his knuckles but she would hardly complain. He was touching her in such an intimate way, she didn't want it to stop._

_"What is it?" She was so relaxed under his touch, so comforted by the closeness of him she was almost certain she could be convinced to do anything he asked of her._

_"I know of a spell, it will be your responsibility to master it, your intent will make all the difference." He spoke lowly, his face seemed to be getting closer to hers and she sighed, her eyes begging to drift closed.  
"It will erase you from their memories, it will keep them safe, but they will not know you ever existed." She tensed, then immediately relaxed when his fingers stroked the sides of her neck, a sense of calm rushed over her._

_"Okay." She finally let her eyes have their way, they closed and she leaned forward, apparently, it was all the permission he needed because he pulled her to him, wrapped his arms around her and held her. Surrounded by the soft scent of potions and herbs she was comforted, she was at peace._

_That peace only deepened when he lay a little kiss to her crown and she felt herself falling into him, losing her sense of why she was there._

_"You are so brave." He whispered into the top of her head, her eyes stung with the prick of tears, she tried to fight them back.  
"So very, incredibly brave, Hermione." And he kissed her crown again, his face laying against the top of her head as he held her and she cried softly into his frockcoat._

Hermione snapped out of her reverie, her eyes focused on the flow of students that had begun to fill the halls.

She needed to make her way to her temporary classroom, she'd wasted her entire free hour staring down the weaving stairway.


	7. Six ☽ If You Want Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

"We can't rush him, Minerva, he needs our patience." Hermione sat across from her former professor, now the Headmistress of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. They were both holding teacups that were full, and unconsumed, more interested in their topic of conversation.

"I just need to commend you Hermione, so many witches would have walked away at this point, I know you must be desperate for companionship." Hermione gave a soft smile, reached across with her free hand and hooked it over the elder witch's, a touch that was returned with a smile.

"I love him, more than I think even I realized before the war. It's clear he hasn't woken because he isn't ready, his mind needs time to heal, I think at least, it is logical. He's been through so much trauma, he deserves this time. I use potions to keep his muscle density up, he swallows them willingly despite his sleep, he doesn't eat, but I've supplemented the important vitamins, he seems to be thriving despite it all." She sat back, her teacup settled on the low table in front of her and forgotten.  
"And as for companionship- I have you, and my students, and the other staff here, not to mention Harry, Ginny, even Draco Malfoy has taken to writing me in his spare time." She glanced down at her fingers, stained from her day's work in the potion lab.

"I know what it is to live a life without romance, Hermione, I simply do not wish to see one of the most affectionate women I've yet to meet experience the same fate." Hermione glanced to the large windows, the sun streaming in and lighting the room so well the torches that normally dotted the edge of the room were unnecessary.

"He'll come back to me, he always does."

☽

Hermione sat behind his desk, grading papers and trying her damndest not to reminisce on times long passed. She found herself slipping into memories more often than she'd like to admit, longing for that familiarity, the very companionship she told others she did not long for.

But she did, perhaps she wouldn't if she'd not already had it, but she had, and she wanted more.

_Severus leant across his cauldron, dark eyes focused on his task as deft, nimble fingers selected ingredients and added them expertly to the brew in front of him._

_Hermione was watching with interest, her mouth dry as she observed him, staring so intensely into that cauldron that she was certain an explosion could shake the corridor and he would pay it no mind.  
"Silverstone." He instructed, a hand outheld and she settled the mortar of finely ground stone into his hand, a dash, it amazed her he could be so precise without a specific measuring tool, the potion simmered, sparkled, and then settled to a soft- almost pastel- orange color._

_She was watching him, eyes interested when he looked up at her, blinking for a second as he stared over at her._

_"And what has you fascinated in this instance? I am well aware you dislike orange quite a lot, so that cannot be the cause." Her shoulders tensed, he knew she didn't like orange? She couldn't remember mentioning it, she must have though._

_"You, you are so enamored with your work I think the school could be swept away and you would still have that keen focus."_

_"Potions is a precise art, Miss Granger." He cocked an eyebrow when she, without really thinking about what she was doing reached out and pushed a stray bundle of black hair out of his face, settling it behind his ear._

_Her eyes went wide when she realized what she was doing and she attempted to tear her hand back and away from him but he stopped her, catching her fingers in his and holding them to the side of his face._

_He was staring at her, his dark eyes intense as he focused on her face. His gaze was something otherworldly, he was looking at her exactly as he did that potion, as if the world could fall out from beneath his feet and he would neither notice, nor care._

_He held her smaller hand in his, against the side of his face for a long moment before rounding to stand in front of her, eyes holding her trapped as she struggled to perform the simple task of breathing. She fought to find words but with her breaths coming so short, she was almost certain if they existed they'd not escape._

_"I am a man of specific talents, I know precisely how I wish for things- brews, and otherwise- to turn out and exactly how to bend them to my will." His voice was low, that deep tenor that shot heat through her veins as he stood directly in front of her, his hand still holding hers to the side of his face, his other came up to hook onto the side of her neck._

_She wet her lips, amber eyes wide, staring up at him._

_"And how exactly do you plan for this to turn out?" She was proud her voice didn't tremble, she was feeling quite tilted, her world shifting and contorting as she stared up at him. She really needed to take command of her breathing, the sooner the better._

_If she fainted before this played out she would hate herself, that was for sure._

_"You are an incredibly clever witch, how do you think I intend for this to end?" He was so close the heat from his body drifted over her, into her. She could feel the tension burning across her shoulders, the cool, roughness of his hand on the side of her neck making her mind race._

_She wondered if he could feel her pulse rioting._

_Still trapped in that intense gaze, she felt not so much like the powerful lioness, no, at the moment she was the mouse, and she was cornered by the snake, unable to move and just hoping he would strike._

_Oh, why wouldn't he strike?_

_"To be honest, Severus, I'm hoping you intend to kiss me, because that would be simply fantastic." She didn't mean to sound so breathless, she didn't mean for her knees to quake and her insides to try to pull themselves in a thousand different directions._

_She only meant to coax him into action._

_"Is that what you desire, my brave little witch?" He brought his face closer, she could feel his breath caress her own as he brought his hands up to the sides of her face, releasing his hold on the hand that had been holding his face and allowing it to slip into silken black hair._

_She took a deep breath, inhaling the sharp scent of potion that clung to him, she couldn't imagine him smelling any other way._

_Wetting her lips again she gave a little nod, barely able to move for the hands holding her face.  
"More than you could possibly know." She exhaled when the little smirk played at his lips and he dipped lower, bringing his surprisingly soft mouth to hers._

_It was slow at first, a gentle caress of lips against hers, her first kiss shooting stars across her eyelids as her eyes fell closed. She grasped onto his hair more tightly. He didn't need to tug her closer, her body immediately gravitated into him, insinuating itself as near as possible as their kiss deepened, his lips working hers with a soft intensity that threatened to make her dizzy._

_And then, when he ran his tongue across the seam of her lips, groaning for reasons she could hardly understand she did grow dizzy, her other hand hooking into his hair was his fingers helped to tip her head back, her lips parted under his. The first stroke of his tongue into her mouth was more magical than anything she'd learned at Hogwarts, the lingering cinnamon of firewhiskey, the soft burn on her pallet as he moved his tongue against hers._

_His hands left the sides of her face, certain she was more than pliable and traced down her sides to hold her hips tightly. She sucked, experimentally on his tongue and he growled, a low noise that bubbled up from his throat and into her mouth, when he didn't push her away for the action she repeated it and he tugged her hips against him, hissing as he tore his mouth from hers and lay his head against her shoulder._

_She could feel the firm line of arousal against her abdomen but chose not to mention it, not to point it out. They weren't there yet, not yet, maybe someday, she hoped..._

_His tongue and teeth curled along her neck and shoulder and she made a low sound, one it took her a moment to register was even her._

_"I believe this has gone exactly as I desired." He spoke into her neck, his teeth nipped the sensitive skin behind her ear and she shuddered, her body rubbing against his of its own will.  
"Hermione." He groaned, pulled back and looked into her face, she could feel her lips were plumped from his kisses, though she couldn't tell if he was staring because he was pleased with the fact, or thoroughly displeased._

_He was a hard man to read, after all._

_"Won't you please kiss me like that again?" She tipped her head back, her hair was wild around her face but she didn't care. She could only care about him, and the safety, the peace, the home she'd found in him the last several months._

_He was swiftly becoming her everything. Perhaps not the best idea, as they were teetering on the edge of a war, but- one couldn't help who- or when- they fell in love, could they? And she was very decidedly in love._

_"We shouldn't do this." He exhaled, turned from her and ran a hand through his hair._

_She wouldn't take that as an answer, she wouldn't let him turn her away, wouldn't let him ruin something she knew they both needed- even if he wouldn't admit it. She stepped up behind him, her arms snaked around his chest as she lay her head against the firm expanse of his back._

_He took a deep breath, his entire body tense, still he didn't pry her hands away and she took this as a good sign._

_Releasing him she kept one hand touching him as she rounded to his front, one small hand running down the sparkling row of buttons down his middle- the other holding his shoulder. He was looking away from her, his eyes averted and his hair falling across his face._

_The hand that had played with his buttons came up, caught his cheek and turned his face to hers, she could look into those eyes forever, she was sure she could._

_"I won't ever hurt you, Severus." He shook his head, his hand coming up to cover hers on his face, his fingers enveloping hers._

_"It is what I will do to you that I worry about." He grunted, staring into her eyes intensely, his entire body still rigid._

_"Let me worry about that?" She stepped forward, closed the space between them so her body was pressed up against his front.  
"I want you- this- even if I can only have it for a short time, even if we can only be together for a little while, isn't that better than nothing at all?" She tipped her head, eyes locked on his. He swallowed, she could see the muscles in his jaw working before he gave a small nod._

_"You are certain? There is no going back from this, I won't see you go until I am dead and buried." He breathed out, watching her face with a fiery intensity that made her very bones quake. He was a force to be reckoned with._

_"Absolutely." She smiled, his arm hooked around her back, tugged her fiercely against him and his mouth was on hers again, his kiss searing._

"Merlin." Hermione shifted in her spot behind his desk, she'd need a cold shower if she continued to drift into those memories.


	8. Seven ☽ If You Stop Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Hermione lay in the bath, a wet cloth over her eyes and her breathing even as she tried to relax her day away, frustrating as it was, she wasn’t sure how Severus put up with so many students without absolutely destroying them.

As it was she considered herself quite a bit more forgiving than he was and she was ready to snap.

Muttering met her ears from the other room and she shot up, water sloshed from the tub and sprayed in soapy waves over the dark tiled floor, she scrambled to get out. Her cloth was discarded, floating in the lukewarm water forgotten as she rounded into their room, sliding on the soles of wet feet to her bum as the cold air of the bedroom bit at her skin.

Wide amber eyes caught the firelight as she stared into the bed, Severus was sitting up in the bed, eyes open but apparently unseeing as he spoke the same words over and over, just below a volume that she could discern what he was saying.

“Severus?” She pulled her aching body from the floor but he didn’t respond, just as she made to move to the floo, to floo call Poppy and request assistance he lay back down and ceased talking. His body limp and prone once more.  
“Merlin Severus! What’s happening!?” She cried as she made her way to the bed, slumping into the cool sheets and completely disregarding the fact her dripping hair was getting them, and him wet. She lay her head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and sighed to herself.  
“What is happening?” She whispered.

_“Hermione, what are you doing out here? It is incredibly late.” She turned to glance at Severus over her shoulder, she was sat just outside the entrance to his chamber door, her knees pulled up to her chest and her arms hooked loosely around her legs._

_Her eyes burned, stung with tears cried and he dropped to his knees beside her, black eyes looking her over for any sign of injury._

_Her injuries were internal however._

_“There is no real curfew over holidays, right?” She croaked, her voice cracked and he shook his head, still half in the doorway to his chambers._

_“What has happened, my sweet girl?” A fresh onslaught of tears stung at her eyes and she threw herself at him, the force pushed him back onto his bum, long legs outstretched in the hall as she lay against his chest, her body curled between his thighs and her face buried in his chest.  
“Hermione?” He stroked her back, glanced around, and proceeded to drag them backwards into his rooms, the door shut with a foot as he held her and she sobbed._

_“My parents are in critical condition, I wasn’t fast enough, it’s all my fault, they could die and it’s all because I was too much of a coward to go home!” She cried into his chest._

_“Oh, Hermione.” He stroked her arms, her hair, spindly fingers finding any part of her he could to caress.  
“Hermione, it isn’t your fault, sweet, sweet girl. They would have killed them when they took you, there was no avoiding it. I am only sorry that we had not had a chance to complete the memory charm yet.” He stroked her hair back from her face, she sniffled, her breaths slowing as she lay against him._

_Cocooned as she was in his warmth, the soft scent of potions and herbs surrounding her it was easy to forget her pain, to forget. She needed to forget, her head tipped back and she kissed his jaw, earning a cocked eyebrow and glimmering black eyes._

_“Now, my dear? Perhaps you should sleep.” He was caressing her back in slow, sure strokes that made her stomach flip and riot inside of her. She needed him, his heat, his all consuming presence to soothe her._

_“I need you, please Severus?” She was looking up into his face, settled so neatly in his arms and she could feel the warmth of him. She realized he was wearing no shirt, only a soft pair of sleepwear on his lower body, it was the first time she’d ever seen him dressed down and the soft firelight playing at broad shoulders, an adequately muscled chest._

_He was lined with little scars that drew her attention and her fingers danced over one closest to her face, just below a pec, he hissed a breath and pulled her back to look into his face._

_“Not now, not yet.” He growled, brought his lips to hers delicately and then stood, a hand outstretched to help her stand. She chewed her lip but took the offered hand and allowed him to haul her to her feet.  
“Come, sleep here tonight.” He drew her to his bed and pulled her into the soft mattress, into his arms and she curled against him._

_It was probably for the best he’d stopped her, snuggled under his chin, his arms wrapped around her in a bed that smelled so strongly of him it was clear, this was what she needed, and she didn’t need anything more just yet._

Hermione curled her body against Severus, shivering in the cold of their room, as if by instinct alone he rolled, hooked his arm over her, and tugged her into his chest.

She smiled to herself and kissed the dip of his throat, her eyes fluttering closed as she lay there for a moment.

He was still there, inside his sleeping body, he still recognized her, still held her while he slept.

She supposed that would have to be enough, but she worried, especially now he’d had that strange episode earlier. She would have to consult Minerva and Poppy, perhaps even Dumbledore’s painting on what she should do, what it could mean.

She hoped it didn’t mean he was in pain, she hoped to Merlin it didn’t mean he was suffering.

The man had had enough, after all, and she didn’t think she could bare to see him suffer more.


	9. Eight ☽ I Can’t Find You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Severus was stood in the middle of a clearing, black eyes flicking from left to right as he groaned.

He’d been here before. Several times in fact. Every time he took off walking in on direction this was where he ended up. Again, and again, and a-bloody-gain.

It was the most frustrating feeling in the world, not being able to find the path that would take him home.

Home to his Hermione, home to his life.

He’d known, when he’d woke up here that he wasn’t dead, no, quite the opposite if he focused hard enough he could hear the things going on outside his own head.

He’d heard Hermione sobbing over him, he’d heard her begging him to wake up. It turned his heart in his chest. He wanted to go back to her, really he did, he just needed to find his way first.

He couldn’t leave his witch alone, alone to face the world without him. He’d promised her, promised her they would have a life after the war, promised he would be there for her for the rest of his, much less, miserable life.

He cleared his throat and turned on his heel, choosing a new direction and setting off through the thick foliage of a foreign wood. He’d never been here before.

He wondered, briefly if it was a spell of the Dark Lord’s, on the off chance he survived he would be trapped forever inside a shitty dream.

A shitty dream that did not involve the love of his life, or an escape from an eternal walk in a circle.

As he walked, he did as he often did, he thought back to that year leading up to the war, the things that had made him feel he had a reason to live.

_Severus lay in the floor, not even able to groan because of the pain that shot through him at the slightest movement. He’d managed to make it back to his personal chambers at Hogwarts, he knew Hermione would be coming for their usual meeting soon. He only had to hold out until she made it._

_He reviewed potions ingredients as he waited, trying not to fall unconscious. When he ran out of those he found his mind slipping to the sweet brunette witch who had become…well, he wasn’t exactly sure what she was to him._

_She wasn’t merely a friend, though if he had to use that description it would fit. She was his companion, his friend, and if the warm little kisses they shared were any indication she had the potential to be his lover._

_That thought spiked the urge of need through him, despite his aching body and the sharp pains that threatened to devour him alive. He would like nothing more than to take the sweet witch to his bed, show her pleasure upon pleasure. And she’d wanted it, over the holidays._

_It hadn’t been right however. She was mourning her parents, the situation they’d ended up in._

_He was glad the pair had survived, he was sad their daughter had to wipe herself from their minds and send them off to a location not even she knew for their safety._

_He’d held her every night over the break, every night that she’d cried into his chest. Woke sobbing because she’d failed her parents._

_He’d held her, and on more than one occasion stopped an innocent bit of kissing from turning into something quite a lot more._

_He didn’t want her to take to his bed only because she was grieving, he wanted her whole heart, her whole mind to be in the act itself._

_And he would wait until that was possible._

_“Severus!” He heard the gasp from the doorway and knew she’d finally found him. Thank Merlin._

_She was at his side in a heartbeat, on her knees and urging him from his side onto his back so she could look him over. He grunted, his breath stalling in his chest as she stared down at him._

_He was in agony._

_The Dark Lord had tested a new spell on him. It was impressively painful._

_“Oh Severus…” She breathed, staring at his purpling skin and broken body. He hated that she would see him like this, but knew this was only the first of what could be many times she would._

_He needed to have faith she would not see him as less a man for it. He needed to tell himself that she wouldn’t think he was weak. This was what he had to do- Damnit! He had to let the man torture him._

_He had to let himself suffer. She brushed the hair back from his face and the soft look in her eyes told him she knew exactly what was going through his head._

_“You are the bravest man I have ever known, Severus, don’t ever think less of yourself.” She drew her wand and summoned several vials of potions to her. He winced as she tipped his head up and poured the first potion past his lips. A pain potion._

_It certainly took the edge off and he immediately felt even that little bit better. As soon as he could he moved his hand to catch hers, holding it to his chest for a moment and she gave him a sad look, tears gathered in her sweet amber eyes._

_Gods what he wouldn’t give to be the one reassuring her in that moment, not the other way around._

_Theirs’ was a relationship built on trust, however, a relationship built on mutual respect._

_He was aware he could not always be strong in front of her, that he would have to be weak at times. What baffled him was the way she simply accepted that weakness, the way she did nothing to dwell on it, simply shifting into the role of the strong one until he could resume his place._

_She brushed the hair back from his face again, smoothing it on the side of his head as she brought another potion to his lips. He drank it readily, trusting she had chosen the right combinations and soon he was feeling drowsy, so very near drifting to sleep._

_She was running her wand over him, numbers and words flying from her lips as she ran diagnostic tests on him. He had to respect that, this witch, his witch, she was talented, she was intelligent, and gods she had the sturdiest head on her shoulders he’d ever seen in a woman so young._

_“Hermione…” He managed to croak and she stopped her testing, her wide eyes landing on him and her hands coming up to cup the sides of his face, her wand forgotten on the floor beside her._

_“What is it, Sev? Are you still in pain? What can I do?” She was frantic, she only wanted for him to be comfortable and he smirked, at least he hoped it was a smirk, and not a grimace._

_“I only want for you to lay with me, witch, do stop your fretting.” His voice crackled and popped and it was raw pain to speak but she obviously understood just what he wanted and, retrieving her wand used a spell to help lighten his weight, she helped him to stand and hobble to the bed._

_Gods he couldn’t help but love the witch. Yes, she could have used any number of levitation spells to move him to the bed, instead she lightened him so she could help him, and allowed him to walk himself. She knew, without words, that his pride could take little more._

_She helped settled him into the bed, her fingers coming down to begin on the buttons of his frock coat and he watched her, black eyes intense._

_This was not exactly the situation he’d hoped to have her undressing him but it would have to suffice._

_He wondered momentarily at why she didn’t use a spell to help undress him but, when he looked into her intense amber eyes, caught her catch that poor, abused lower lip between her teeth he knew this was a choice she’d made for a reason._

_She helped him to sit up, slipping all of his unfastened upper wear from his body and easing them from beneath him, leaving him bare chested as he lay back against the pillows._

_She moved down, pulled the boots from his feet with a delicacy he would hardly expect from anyone else, and then his socks, which made him grunt, and the witch smirk. She knew how he felt about people being around his feet, irritating girl._

_She moved to the placket of his trousers, gave him a long look, to which he gave a nod, and undid the buttons and zip, pulling them down and off his narrow hips and discarding them with the rest of his clothes._

_He heaved a sigh as soft hands trailed his fading bruises and she chewed that poor lip again._

_“Get in the bed, witch.” He growled, black eyes locked on her and she, with a wave of her wand, transfigured her clothing into a sleep dress, pulled his wand from his robes and set it beside hers on the nightstand, and crawled into the bed to curl up beside him, her head on his shoulder._

_“I’m so sorry you have to go through this, Sev.” She spoke quietly in the darkened room, her breath warm as it fanned against his chest and he managed to rub her shoulder delicately, his eyes closed._

_“I am simply glad I have a wonderful caretaker, Hermione.” He kissed the top of her head, despite his discomfort, and both managed to drift into a fitful sleep._

Severus came back to attention, he was stood in that bloody clearing again, his black eyes flashed his irritation.

“I need you damnit!” Broke into his mind and his eyes widened, she was crying. He needed to find his way back to her.

“I swear Hermione, I’ll find my way back to you.” The scene shifted for the first time since he’d been here, now he was no longer in the woods, instead he stood in the middle of a very empty Hogwarts.

He cocked an eyebrow. He wondered what treasures _this place_ had in store for him.


	10. Nine ☽ I Can’t Have You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Severus glared at the Headmaster’s desk, it bubbled unpleasant memories in him and he wanted nothing more than to leave the room.

Problem was, he couldn’t.

He’d tried the door, over and over, and over again and nothing had happened.

Every single time.

It was really beginning to annoy him.

With a huff he walked over to the Headmaster’s chair and sat, his eyes closing for a brief second. When he tried to stand again he found that he couldn’t, he was stuck to the chair and he groaned.

“Merlin’s bloody left nipple.” He ground out and closed his eyes again, letting his mind drift to thoughts of his witch, perhaps memories would stave of his frustration and help him to concentrate when he was calmer.

_“Severus…” Hermione trailed, she was stroking the hair back from his face as he lay, his head on her thighs and his eyes closed. Her book, lay on the arm of the sofa beside her, his was face down on his stomach. They’d been sharing their time, simply sitting about reading._

_“Yes, my dear?” His eyes flicked open, he was caught in those beautiful amber eyes the moment he opened his own and he found- as he often did, he had little desire to look away from her.  
Gods she was everything to him, they’d been together, officially, for three months, and they had been the best three months he could remember having in an eternity._

_“About Dumbledore…” He tensed and she paused, her eyes wide on him as her hand continued to stroke through his hair. He couldn’t help tensing. He’d of course informed her what was asked of him, what was happening and she cleared her throat, powering on as she always did._

_He was pleased she wasn’t afraid of him._

_“I know that you don’t want to do it, and I know that it is going to take such a toll on you.” She chewed her bottom lip and he reached up to pop it free before cupping her cheek with his hand, her eyes still staring down into his._

_“Will you care for me any less, when I do this? Will you hate me when I become a man who murders my friends?” It had been on his mind, he couldn’t deny it had._

_It had eaten at him for a long time. Hermione watched him with wide eyes and he was certain she would say yes, that she couldn’t care for a murderer. Couldn’t be with a man who killed his one of his best, and only friends._

_But then he was already a murderer wasn’t he? He’d killed, he’d tortured? What made this different?_

_Did she even realize he’d done those things in his past? Surely she didn’t think he’d been a death eater without being a ruthless bastard!_

_“Severus,” she furrowed her brow at him, “of course I will. What a strange question, you’ve killed, haven’t you, in the past?” She questioned, he didn’t want to answer her, his eyes flicked away to stare into the fire._

_She nudged his face back toward hers before stroking her fingers through his hair again. It was so soothing, something so incredibly calming to him that he couldn’t imagine a life without it._

_“You want the truth, of course?” His voice was a rasp and she gave a nod, her eyes locked on his face. He didn’t want to disappoint her, he didn’t want her to hate him._

_Merlin, why had things become so complicated?_

_“I have, I have killed many, Hermione, though I prefer not to keep a tally.” He braced for her to pull away, to push his head from her lap and abandon him._

_Much to his dismay she didn’t leave, instead she did the opposite of what he would have expected and hooked her fingers into his hair, her face leaning down over his closer and her eyes locked on his._

_“I love you, Severus Snape, and you better not ever, ever forget that. You have done some terrible things, things I would never condone, things that I don’t think I will ever be ready to know about, I know that you have killed, I know that you have tortured. I also know that you have risen above your hatred, I know that you have tamed that part of you and that you can be so, incredibly compassionate. I’m sorry he’s asked this of you, but I will be here for you always.” He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath and drawing himself up from her lap._

_He shifted, moved so that he could stare at her and gave the witch a long, longing look._

_“You love me?” She smiled, a sympathetic, sweet, almost pained smile that drew her entire face into the act._

_“Of course, dunderhead!” She tossed herself into his arms, her head buried in his neck as he held her to him, breathing her in, Merlin he’d never have enough._

_“I love you too, Hermione.” She froze, her breathing stilted for a moment as she pulled back to look up at him._

_“You do? Really?”_

_“Don’t look so shocked, little witch.” He scolded, pinching her chin between his thumb and forefinger as she stared up in him in wonder._

_“I just didn’t- I never thought I would hear those words out of your mouth.” She grinned, not giving him a chance to speak as she tugged her face from his grasp and latched her lips onto his._

_He smirked as he dipped her back into the sofa and held her body close to his, moving against her and letting himself be lost in her sweet softness._

_She made what he had to do just that little bit better. Especially when her little fingers were hooked in his hair, and her moans were filling his mouth._

“This was your first mistake, Severus.” A voice spoke from above him as his eyes snapped open from his reverie. “Loving that girl, you’re a monster.” The familiar voice growled and he groaned staring up into the face.

The face of his worst enemy.

Black eyes flashed and he growled.

“She’s the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“It’s unfortunate you are not the best thing that ever happened to her.” The familiar visage growled back, Severus tried to move but he was stuck to the seat still. His eyes burned.

“You can’t have her, Severus, she’s too good for you.” He taunted, Severus lowered his head, his black eyes closing for a moment as he tried to steady his labored breathing.

“I know. I don’t deserve her at all.” He sounded defeated to his own ears as he slumped down in his seat and looked back up at the man stood in front of him.

“You should not let yourself forget it…”


	11. Ten ☽ I Can’t Have You (II)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Severus stared at the visage of himself, black eyes narrowed on black eyes.

It wasn’t nearly as surprising as one might have expected it to be. No, it was actually quite the opposite, he had been almost certain this was all his own doing.

He obviously had some _issues_ he needed to work out.

“How could I possibly forget it, I have been constantly reminded since the day I looked at her and saw not a girl but a woman.” He bit back, his fingertips were digging almost painfully into the arms of the chair, black eyes narrowed on the visage of himself.

“You’ve never been worth anything to anyone. You are completely expendable, what is a servant when both his masters are dead? You are nothing now.” His voice was mocking, not his own typical toneless draw and he lowered his head, his eyes closing to the onslaught of sensation.

There was a clenching at his heart, a feeling of complete sorrow as he played the words on loop in his mind.

Expendable, he was entirely expendable.

_“Severus! I’m so glad to see you up and about! How are you feeling?” A bundle of bushy haired energy met him at the door. His movements were dragging but seeing her immediately lightened something in his soul. She was always so happy to see him, always gracing him with her beaming smile and soft kisses._

_“I have certainly been better Hermione, but thanks to you I have definitely been worse as well.” He grasped her shoulder as she sidled up beside him and gave him a broad grin, her arm hooked around his waist to help him into his favorite chair and he groaned as he sat.  
“I am getting too old for his games.” He grunted as the witch shuffled away, coming back with a tumbler of firewhiskey and a grin. She settled herself beside him after he took the glass, her head laying against his knee as she settled into the floor._

_“You are not getting too old, Sev.” She laughed, small fingers playing at the cover of the book in front of her. It was clear she intended to stay with him while she read._

_Curious girl she was._

_He scoffed, “I do not know it what world you live in, but I am quickly approaching forty, only a few years yet.”_

_“Forty isn’t old.” She sniffed matter-of-factly and gave him a look, her eyebrow nearly in her hairline. He stared down at her, a swift drink of his firewhiskey setting a pleasant burn through him._

_“It is too old for torture.” He huffed, his glass settling in his hand on the arm of the chair. “And you.”_

_A scoff broke her chest and he gave her a long look._

_“You’re not doing this again are you?” I’ve told you a thousand times, I’m not a child and you are not taking any kind of advantage of me. You are not running away from this relationship because you are hard headed.”_

_“Is that final, Ms. Granger?” She looked up at him with a bright grin, shifted onto her knees and shuffled between his legs, her hands settled on his thighs._

_“My word is law, Master Snape.” Her eyes held a wicked twinkle as she rubbed her hands up and down his thighs, the sensation near torture despite the thick fabric of his trousers separating their skin._

_“Hermione…”_

_“Shh, stop for just a second.” She lay her head on his thigh, her hand wrapped around the muscled appendage and her eyes looking up into his from her sideways angle.  
“You should listen to me, Severus Snape, I know what I’m talking about when I say we were made for each other.” He shook his head, black hair shifting around his face and tickling at his cheeks, she reached up to brush the hair away, a familiar act and he turned his face to kiss her palm gently._

_“Are we now?”_

_“We most certainly are.”_

_“You seem so certain of this conclusion.” He felt both his eyebrows rise as he stared down at her, her eyes were sparkling in the firelight, soft and so beautiful. His hand came down to cup her cheek of its own volition, against any desire he may have had to keep a distance._

_She prevented that distance rather fluidly._

_“I am completely certain. I have done the necessary research, evaluated the factors, and come to the conclusion that I was made for you, and you were made for me.” She hummed, the little know-it-all drifting back into her voice as she spoke, he smirked and caressed her cheek. Her eyes closed at the feeling of his thumb against her skin and he wondered how he could question her._

_Of course, they were made for one another, could something so simple mean so much if they were not._

_“It’s chemical, Sev, and even you can’t deny that draw, call it the cosmos, call it nature, call it whatever you want. I never want you to think we don’t belong together because we do. So, when that self-deprecating little voice starts telling you all those wicked little lies I want you to remember this.” She pushed up on her knees, using her hands for leverage on his thighs as she rose to kiss him rather gently on the lips._

_The tumbler balanced precariously on the arm of his chair he caught his fingers in her hair and deepened the kiss, pulling her up so she sat sideways in his lap and his arms were wrapped around her. She fisted her fingers in his hair, careful to avoid his damaged torso and he couldn’t help but to smile into the kiss. She was so considerate of him, more so than anyone else he could ever imagine having in his arms._

_When she pulled away from him, leaving him annoyed he watched her hooded eyes, the dreamy look on her face and smirked to himself. Merlin, he loved that he was the one who could do that to her._

_“Can you handle that, my love.”_

_“I suppose there is nothing but to try.” He pecked her lips gently and urged her from his lap, his hands on her hips as she stood in front of him for a moment longer. He wanted that moment, just to look upon her, just to remember her words and know she meant them._

“I promised I would come back to her, the true disappointment for her would be to break that promise.” He grunted, pried himself from the chair, despite the weight he felt it settled on his chest, and stood, staring himself down.

“Stubborn git, she would move on if you would just let yourself die.” Black eyes flashed and he shook his head, his hands leaned on his desk and a ferocious look on his face.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he felt something cool on his face and reached up with a hand, there were waterdrops falling on him, coming from nowhere, “what is that?”

He looked up but there was nothing and soon the droplets disappeared, not to return. He could smell the soft scent of jasmine surrounding him and somehow, he just knew she was there, beside him.

No, he couldn’t let her down.

The visage of himself, stood across the room, blocking the door began to flicker, his arms crossed across his chest as he scowled before the image vanished completely and the weight was lifted, on the soft scent of his witch wafting around him to keep him company in the room.

She must be so worried, he needed to find his way back to her. He did however feel that he was somehow one step closer.


	12. Eleven ☽ I Can’t Touch You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Severus had managed to find his way to the dungeons of this Hogwarts in his mind. He knew better now, what he was up against, but being up against himself didn’t seem a promising fate at all.

He could be quite stubborn, after all.

Hopefully stubborn enough to make it back to Hermione. He knew she must be worried sick and he had no idea how long he’d been trapped inside his own mind. It was as if time moved differently there, locked inside himself.

“I hate you.” The feminine voice broke his thoughts as he stood in front of his chamber doors. Hermione was there, leant against the wooden door. Her amber eyes were hard on him, her wild hair around her face.

“What?” He furrowed his brow, this was new. He steeled himself for the onslaught of what his mind believed she thought of him.

“I said I hate you, you’re a bastard, a prick, you never took care of me. You always expected me to be there for you but where are you now, hmm? I’m suffering, alone, I hate you.” She snarled, walking up to him, her shoulders squaring.

He felt the sting of her words, his eyes burning.

“I regret ever being with you. I can’t believe I ever let it happen!” She hissed, a hand reached out to slap his face and he closed his eyes.

_“Severus…” Her body was pressed beneath his, her eyes staring into his with the soft twinkle that he’d grown so accustomed to._

_“What is it now, Hermione?” He chuckled, still looming above the witch, they’d only just finished a rather intense bit of snogging and he intended to move before she caught him._

_The next day would be the day, the evening that he would be forced to kill Albus and flee the school. Things were coming to a head.  
He’d managed to teach the witch all he believed he could and he knew she would survive this._

_“We’re about to be apart for a long time, possibly forever.” She looked down at his chest and he tipped her face back up, wanting nothing more than to look into her eyes again._

_“Indeed.”_

_“Will you make love to me, just this once?” Her face was flushed, her fingers playing at the soft hair at the nape of his neck and he groaned, his eyes pinching closed for a moment._  
“Please Severus, I can’t die, I can’t have you die without being with you, I want you to be my first.” She exhaled and he waited, knowing she wasn’t finished.  
“I want you to be my last.”

_His eyes popped open, he knew surprise must have painted his features because she actually gave off a little giggle when his eyes found hers again in the dimmed light of the room._

_“Can you wait, until after the war?” He managed, his voice sounded broken, even to himself and she shook her head, her fingers working their way forwards so that she could clutch either side of his face. Her warm little hands so familiar on his skin._

_“I want you to make love to me now. You can wait to marry me after the war, if you must.” Her lips twitched, a sure sign she was near tears and he hung his head, his hair falling into his face and her hands coming down to clutch his shoulders._

_“Hermione…”_

_“Please Severus, I love you, I want to be with you. I know- I know this is hard for you to accept but you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. You’re everything I ever could have wanted, and it all started because I cried over a book. Can’t you give me this, this one thing?” He heaved a sigh his eyes closing._

_He couldn’t deny, he wanted to be with her, for her to be his._

_What was holding him back?  
He knew what it was._

_The idea that if he died, which he was nearly certain he would, he would leave her alone, grieving him even more severely if he crossed this line with her. Still though, this witch was laying beneath him, begging him to be with her, to love her._

_And he’d put her off for a long time._

_They both wanted this. He needed to stop the madness and just let himself feel, let himself be with her._

_He may never have another chance._

_“Okay, Hermione.” He cleared his throat, his lips dipping to her neck and his teeth dragging across her smooth throat.  
“I have one condition.”_

_She gasped, her head falling back further into the pillow to give him more access._

_“Wh-what is it?” She managed, though her breaths were growing heavier as he gave her neck all of his attention. He smirked into the supple flesh._

_“You must marry me as soon as this war is over.”_

_“Of course I will.” She gasped, his teeth dipping lower to the hem of her top. He helped relieve her of it, and the rest of her clothing while he was at it and admired her for a moment as she stared up at him with dewy eyes._

_“I love you, my sweet girl.” He managed as his fingers trailed the dip of her waist, the swell of her hips and the top of her thighs, stopping where his legs straddled hers. She groaned and gave him a longing look, her eyes heavy lidded._

_“I love you too, so much more than I think you realize.”_

_He bent to kiss her, the flash of her magic across his skin as his own clothing was removed rather suddenly and he settled between her thighs._

_She was rolling her hips against him, rushing him along and he chuckled as he pulled back from her, looking into her eyes as she pursed her lips._

_“I am certain you would appreciate a bit of preparation.” He drew his fingers down her middle, his eyes locked on her face as his fingers slipped into the sweet softness of her womanhood and began to stroke the moist bud of nerves at its top._

_“I want you to be the first thing inside me.” She flushed, her face burning bright red as she watched him. He hissed a breath, watching as she chewed her bottom lip rather relentlessly. She was so wet, so ready._

_How could he deny a throbbing hole so ready for him? He couldn’t._

_He drove forward slowly, his eyes closing in sheer ecstasy as he entered the tight sheath of muscle. The sensation like nothing he’d ever felt and he could feel her tense beneath him as he broke her barrier, she groaned at what must have been a sharp sting of pain and he lowered his fingers between them, playing at the bundle of nerves until she was moaning and wiggling her hips once again._

_“You are so beautiful.” He exhaled as he began to move, each thrust taking him a bit deeper until she was meeting him with glorious moans, cries of his name pouring from her lips. He couldn’t stop his own lips from emitting grunts, little sounds of pleasure that he was typically very capable of controlling._

_She cried out, her walls rioting around him and it was all it took for him to lose himself to the sensation, those tight walls milking his release until he felt he would have no more to give and then he lay beside her, pulled her into his arms and kissed her temple._

_“You’re the best thing that ever came into my life, Hermione.” He breathed into her ear, holding her to him tightly and she shuddered, he could feel the moisture of a tear hit his upper arm, where her face rested and he was worried for just a moment before she pulled back to smile up at him._

_“The feeling is mutual, I love you more than anyone in the world.” She kissed his jaw before drifting into a gentle slumber._

_Typically he would make her leave, tell her to go so that neither of them would end up in any trouble._

_The time for trouble was far past however and as he buried his nose in her soft hair he regretted what he had to do the next day. He wanted nothing more than to postpone it all, to say with her for as long as he could._

_Damn Dumbledore, and Damn Tom Riddle._

He treated this image brought on by his mind differently than the last as he stared her down. A smirk flitted across his lips before he backed her into the door, his hands on either side of her head.

“You aren’t my Hermione, I can’t touch you, but I will have her back, and she will welcome me with open arms.” He bit into the image’s face. It twisted, contorted until it was himself staring back at him again, a dark glare on his face.

“You haven’t stopped me yet.”

“Ah yes, but at least, for this part, I know my love, and I know how she feels for me.” The image growled, snarled a wicked laugh, and the scenery around him changed again.

He bit down on a groan as he looked around the empty room.

Malfoy Manor.

Of course.


	13. Twelve ☽ I Can’t Lose You

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

The scene at Malfoy Manor quickly shifted, leaving him no longer in an empty room but instead faced with what must have been the most disturbing sight he’d ever laid eyes upon.

Saying something, considering all he’d done in his life.

On the floor, Hermione lay, limp, lifeless, her chest unmoving and her mouth agape. Her broken body was bent at strange angles, but, perhaps what was even more haunting than this, coupled with her blueish skin, was her eyes. Wide open and blank, that beautiful sparkling amber gone.

The Dark Lord stood over her, his red eyes glowing wickedly as he cackled, along with several faceless death eaters.

He could feel himself fall to his knees, his heart shattering in his chest as he stared at her unmoving form.

He couldn’t make himself believe this was the familiar nightmare he’d been subjected to so many times. No, this was real.

To him this was exactly what he’d believed would happen all throughout the war, as soon as he’d brought her into his confidence, as soon as he’d begun to care for her.

Anyone he cared for, anyone who made the foolish decision to care for him died in the end. It had happened to his mother, to Lily, he’d been forced to kill Dumbledore, he’d even lost Lucius, who while not the greatest friend had been one of the few he could ever boast having.

Hermione was simply another to add to his list of losses, another to be claimed for his foolish mistakes.

He managed to crawl to her body, cradling her to his chest and holding back the sob that wanted to break free as he closed her eyes.

“This is all your fault.” A voice, still so familiar spoke from beside him and his shoulders shook, his eyes closed as he lay his forehead against her unmoving lips, so cold.  
“She would have lived, if you’d only left her be. She didn’t deserve this, so young, so pretty, so full of life and intelligence. She could have changed the world.” He sneered and Severus shook his head, rocking the witch held to his chest, his eyes still pinched closed as the onslaught of tears shook him more violently.

☽

“Severus,” Hermione cooed, her fingers stroking through her hair as she looked at his face, the crowd in their room no longer of any interest to her as she held him to her. He’d begun convulsing early in the evening, his body shaking and his mouth emitting little whimpers and moans.

She’d thought to calm him, to attempt to wake him but he did nothing but convulse more violently, she was certain she was sporting a black eye from a wild flail of his arm but she didn’t care, she only endured the onslaught and held him to her, trying to soothe away whatever it was that tormented him in his sleep.

Minerva had come, along with Poppy and Helena had come at her call as well. Harry and Ron had come as soon as they’d heard she was having difficulties and the face of Draco Malfoy peered out of the fireplace, still on house arrest.

“Is there anything we can do for him?” Minerva tried to keep her voice calm, it would do no good for the witch or wizard if she panicked.

“We could sedate him.”

“No!” Hermione called her eyes shooting up to the elder witches before she turned back to the wizard, his face was contorted in pain and he still shook somewhat. There were tears trailing down his cheeks and she wiped them away before they had a chance to mingle with her own falling on his face.

“She’s right, sedating him could have dire consequences. If he may even possibly be coming to we need to give his body a chance to fight through the slumber, his mind needs the opportunity.” Helena spoke, earning a long look from Ron and Harry.

“Who’s this bird?” He muttered to Harry who shrugged, and earned a sharp look from the witch herself.

“Master Snape’s medic from St. Mungo’s.” Hermione called from the bed, still holding Severus.  
“Helena, if he’s trying to wake up, is there even a chance I could go into his mind, is there anything I could do to help him?” Her voice cracked. She wasn’t looking at the witch, instead she was staring down at his face, her hand stroking through his hair lovingly as she gazed down at him. The spasming had soothed to simple, slow thrashes and the tears were flowing more readily now.

She could also have sworn she could hear him muttering her name under his breath, though she couldn’t be sure if it was wishful thinking or just the stress of the situation.

“You could become trapped there, there is no knowing what he is experiencing inside there. He’s seen so much.” Poppy grimaced before the other medi-witch could even respond.

Helena huffed and crossed her arms across her chest.

“I have every faith that you will be able to pull out if necessary. You may be just the thing he needs.” The two witches were now staring at each other with long looks, one preferring to err on the side of caution, the other knowing that Hermione would do the dangerous thing if there was even a chance.

“I need one of you to sit with him. Our library is extensive and I have a tome in mind that may contain the spell I need.” She moved to leave him but his hand slung up again and grasped onto her wrist, his face contorting again.

She pried herself away gently, kissing his head and muttering under her breath that she’d be back, he just needed to hold on for her.

“Hermione, are you sure about this?”

“Of course she’s sure Weasel, why else would she be doing it?” A bitter scoff from the fireplace.

“Shut up ferret.”

“Why don’t you come make me, Weasel?”

“Stop it right now, this is not the time.” Harry intervened, Hermione shot him a thankful look as Helena, Poppy, and Minerva all took seats, far enough away from one another on the bed.

“We’ll sit with him, Hermione, you find what you need.”

“Ronald, Harry, come with me, Draco, could you check a few books in the Malfoy library?”

“Of course Granger.” He scoffed and stared over at her.  
“Owl your list.”

“Thank you.”

☽

Severus was experiencing the most intense pain he’d ever felt. His body flailing beside that of his dead love while he was repeatedly crucioed.

It was painful, but he’d resigned himself that he deserved it, that chanting voice, his own voice, telling him to take it, he’d brought it on himself.

Voldemort called the curse again, as if on repeat without ever the release of blacking out that he seemed to recall having.

“You deserve this, you killed her.” He stared into Hermione’s face on one of his short breaks and reached out a shaking hand to stroke her pale, cold cheek.

His body convulsed again and he pinched his eyes closed against the pain, instead of screaming or calling out as one may have in intense pain he merely said her name, over and over under his breath.

Reminding himself again and again, he deserved this.  
He’d killed her.

 _I deserve it, it was all my doing._ Had become his mantra, he couldn’t stand the idea that he’d lost her. He loved her so much that the pain it tore through his chest was so much worse than that of the crucio, the combination of the two was enough to leave him in agony, torn and broken on the floor of that blasted Manor.

“Yes, give up, Severus, it isn’t worth fighting, you deserve the pain. You deserve to die.” His own voice crowed.


	14. Thirteen ☽ If You Let Me In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

Hermione groaned, she’d been pouring over tome after tome for several hours now. Ron had gone to sleep and was snoring rather violently in a chair across the room from her, his head tilted back and his mouth wide open.

“He’s going to have a sore neck in the morning.” Harry grumbled, rubbing the back of his own neck as he looked over the book in front of him, eyes skimming just as Hermione had taught him for the keywords he needed in this situation.

“He deserves it, can’t even stay awake to help a friend.” She huffed, turning her page with a loud ripple of paper and Harry shook his head.

He knew she was under quite a lot of stress. It made sense that she would be annoyed with their friend. He’d been nothing but a jerk about her relationship with their former Professor since he’d discovered the nature of said relationship.

Harry had seen it coming, she’d spent so many evenings with him in that year leading up to the climax of the war that there was no mistaking what was going on. No matter how much she claimed it was only extra study sessions.

She’d been so much happier he’d been hard pressed to be upset about it.

“AH! I’ve got it!” She screeched, jumping to her feet and the book fell to the floor with a loud ‘thud’. The sound startled Harry in his half-attentive state and all but destroyed Ron as he woke with a start, fell from his chair and scrambled for his wand.

A groggy; “What is it, what’s happening? Are we being attacked?” emitting from him in a panic.

“No you idiot, I’ve figured out how to get into Severus’ dreams.” She shot him a scathing glare before she looked over at Harry.  
“I’m going to need to take a potion. I want you in the room, and only you watching over us, do you understand, if you let anyone else in the room it could impact the dream.” She waited for his nod, of course he would.

“How long will the brew take?” He questioned and Hermione cleared her throat.

“Actually, we’ll need to pay a visit to the apothecary, it’s going to cost quite a lot but it will be worth it, the brew can only be made at its strongest on a blood moon and I doubt we have any coming up nearly soon enough.” Ron wrinkled his nose as he slunk back into his seat just as an owl came flitting into the room, small and wavering in its flight.

Hermione unrolled the scroll it carried carefully as it settled on her shoulder and she sighed as she shook her head.

“It would seem Draco has come to the same conclusion I have, and that settles it. Get your cloaks, we’re going to Diagon Alley.” She didn’t give either a chance to say a word as she sent off a hasty reply to Draco and swept from the room.

“She’s been around the bat too long, starting to act even worse.”

“Shut up, Ron.” Harry groaned.

☽

Hermione gagged at the vile smell of her newly acquired, very expensive potion as she sat on the bed beside Severus, who still had tears streaming down his face but had gone still. Harry gave her a look and shook his head, his green eyes encouraging.

“I know it goes without saying Hermione but I know you can do this. We wouldn’t have made it through the Hogwarts, much less the war without you. Now he needs you and I know you’re going to bring him back, and then we’ll be able to have that beautiful wedding I’ve caught you planning in your spare time.” She sniffed, giving him a long look.

“When did you grow up?”

“I’m not sure I have, but I know you can do this, and you have my full support.” He cleared his throat, glanced to the hearth and then back to Hermione.  
“You can’t help who you love and I know he makes you happy, go bring him back.”

She nodded, wet her lips and stared at the deep black of the potion in front of her.

It looked like poison, and in a sense it was.

“Bottoms up then.” She took a quick shot of the potion, certain to drain the vile and she felt the world shift around her.  
“Remember, no one else comes in Harry.” She managed to rasp as she fell back into the bed beside Severus and her eyes drifted closed, her breathing leveled.

Harry nodded but didn’t say a word, remembering he was to be as non-obtrusive as possible.

☽

Hermione’s eyes flicked open, she was in an incredibly familiar clearing. One she recognized immediately to be located in the Forbidden Forest. She sighed to herself.

 _Should have known._ She shook her head as she scanned the ground. She could tell someone had walked the same path so many times that it had worn the grass and leaves to dirt and she assumed Severus had been lost, going in a circle.

She took off through the forest at a slightly hasty walk, trying to get out and to the castle as quickly as she possibly could. She just had a feeling that should be her next destination and as she broke through the forest she was not disappointed to find Hogwarts stood, high and looming above her.

There was something dangerously dark about the castle.

“You have no business here.” A voice spoke beside her and she was caught off guard to find Severus standing there, arms crossed and looking deadly. She was no fool, she certainly wouldn’t be tricked by a false projection of her Severus.

He would never look at her with eyes so cold, she couldn’t afford to second guess that for a second.

She cocked an eyebrow at him and cleared her throat, continuing to walk despite him and he fell into step beside her.

“You can just move on, sir, I have no interest in talking with anyone but my wizard.” She huffed, continuing to walk, ignoring the taunts and teases tossed her way. Some were words he’d said to her, spiking memories of their rather disagreeable times in one another’s company before they’d become involved.

She squared her narrow shoulders and moved on, coming up to the castle doors and was relieved when he vanished from beside her as she entered through the main entrance.

It was immediately noticeable that the castle was much darker than it was in reality. Everything had a sort of dreamy quality and she cleared her throat, wondering where he would go first.

She made a split decision, relying on her gut as she made her way up the many staircases to the entrance of the Headmaster’s office. The door was open, the stairs leading up already there and she ascended them quickly.

The lingering sensation of his magic on her skin told her he’d been there recently and as she stared at the deep gouges in the chair behind the Headmaster’s desk, the state of the items that had once been on the desk she realized he must have gone through something incredibly trying there.

She moved on, quickly going back down the stairs and ignoring the voice that called to her from the top as she made her way down.

If not there, the dungeons, it would be her next stop.

She was going to find him, and she was going to bring him out of this, whether that little voice she’d known had always been there nagging at him liked it, or not.

Crossing into the dungeon was more difficult than she’d anticipated and she’d gone in circles for the better part of what had to be an hour, his mind preventing her from finding her way until she stood still in the middle of the hall and stared upwards.

“Severus, I’m here, come on, please let me in.” She begged, wet her lips and began again, she wasn’t foolish enough to wait for a sign, she could only hope his trust in her ran this deep.

She was filled with relief when she found the entrance to his chambers, open and waiting for her when she finally stumbled into the dungeons.

Thanking whatever entity had listened, and Severus himself for helping her before she made to step into the rooms.

When she crossed the doorway however what she found was not what she expected.

She stepped through into the very familiar dungeon of Malfoy Manor, and the sigh before her was almost as appalling as the feelings the Manor itself sparked in her.

Severus lay, chained to the floor, his eyes closed and his face tear streaked with a body lying atop him.

Her body, cold, dead, and unmoving.

She gave a loud gasp and his eyes snapped open at the sound, locking onto her.


	15. Fourteen ☽ If You Love Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I do not own, nor do I claim to own Harry Potter or any parts of the original stories.  
> I write these fanfictions for fun and do not intend to infringe on any rights of J.K. Rowling or others who have ownership in full or part of the Harry Potter Universe.  
> No profit is being made, this story is purely for entertainment.

“Come to taunt me again?” Severus snarled, looking for all the world like a caged animal, itching to tear her to shreds. She was suddenly very glad he was chained down, at least for the beginning of this conversation. She would release him, just as soon as she removed that atrocious duplicate of herself that was draped over top him.

“Severus.” She maintained eye contact with him and heaved a deep breath, tentatively stepping closer.  
“I’m going to get that thing off of you, okay?” She spoke as softly as possible as she approached, her wand outstretched in her hand and he tensed, sneering viciously and growling at her.

“Don’t you dare take her away from me.” And then his face crumpled again.  
“Hermione, my Hermione. I’ve done this to you.” He kissed the side of its head and Hermione winced, he was torturing himself.

She had to help him through this.

She had to keep her wits about her as well.

“Severus, that isn’t me, love, it’s an illusion, you’re doing this to yourself, you’re asleep.” She tried to coax, coming closer and he growled lowly at her again, struggling against the bindings that held him to the floor. Looking over him she could see he was bloody, bruised, and covered in sweat and grime from the dungeons.

She stood still in her place, not coming closer as he buried his face in the neck of the Hermione that lay atop him. Gods she’d hate to see what he could do to his enemies, if he did this to himself.

“Leave, I don’t need your taunting anymore. I know what I have done and this is my penance, just…” His voice broke, dropping to a whisper. “…just leave me to die.”

She felt the first tear break her own shields now, her eyes locked on his limp form, the way he buried his face in the fake Hermione’s shoulder. He was broken, so very broken. Her wizard, her rock, he had managed to fight his way to this point before he’d allowed those doubts to overtake him and break him.

He believed it to be real now, and that meant she had to prove to him it wasn’t. The question was, how?

“Severus.” She dropped to her knees, her eyes locked on his face as he lay there, his face half covered by wild brown curls.

She could dwell on how strange, and upsetting it was to see herself dead later. She needed to take care of him first and foremost.

“Severus, look at me.” She demanded and his eyes snapped open, narrowed on her face.  
“I’m going to lift that thing off of you so that you can see it, okay?” She watched him, he was giving her a skeptical look but it seemed so long as she wasn’t taking it away he wouldn’t fight her too vehemently.  
“Good.”

Her fingers moved to the buttons of her blouse and his eyes narrowed.

“What are you doing?” He snarled, black eyes looking up at the body hovering over him, they were wearing different clothing. It also broke through to him, for just a second, that the living Hermione was wearing something entirely different than the one that had taunted him- who had been in purple robes, and this one above him, that wore school robes.

“I’m showing you something.” She cleared her throat and vanished the shirt and robes from the body of the thing, whatever it was.

Her blouse slid down her shoulders and to the floor and she brushed the hair from her shoulders, pushing it back behind her as she magically moved the hair and the shadows it cast from the thing.

She refused to think of it as anything but a thing. It was too disturbing otherwise.

“What are you trying to prove, witch?” He bit out, his black eyes narrowed on her and she heaved a breath, crawling closer to him still on her knees. Were he not chained down she would be at arms length. He would have been able to reach out and touch her if not for her bonds.

“Severus, you were nearly killed during the war. You’ve been unconscious since.” She ran her finger over the scar that cut a path from her left collarbone nearly to her right hip, disappearing beneath her bra for a short moment before being visible again.  
“But you weren’t the only one that was nearly killed. Bellatrix Lestrange hit me with a curse, your curse, though I believe it was altered as I was given only this long slash, not multiple smaller ones.” She freed his hand closest to her with a thought.

Ah, dreams were blessedly easy to manipulate.

Her fingers wrapping around his wrist she pulled his hand up and drug it down the skin of her scar, wincing a bit as his fingers drug along the pink flesh.

Severus Snape’s mind was truly an incredible thing, the way she could feel pain, the way everything felt so real. It was just unfortunately that incredible mind had turned against him, at least for the moment.

He gasped a breath, looked up at the thing hovering above him and found no such scar.

“She’s not real, Sev. I’m real, I’m here.” She took his palm and pressed it flat above her heart.

“No! She’s tricking you! Trying to give you false confidence!” It was that shadowy image of Severus again and Hermione turned her eyes to it, a dark glare on her face.

“You again?” She hissed and it barked a laugh.

“You can’t possibly think this is real, she’s not real! She’s dead, she died for you! Because of you!” It crowed and Hermione furrowed her brow, her fingers catching on his cheek and drawing his face to look into hers, the bindings across him vanished, along with the faux corpse.

“Sev, look at me, not him. You’re tormenting yourself love. You were writhing, in the real world. I’ve been trying to wake you for months.” The tears stung at her eyes again, his hand still against her chest, her heartbeat speeding as the image continued to growl words of discouragement.  
“I took a potion, mediis tenebris noctis.”

His eyes went wide, everything else faded around them as he stared up at her.

“Hermione, that- that will kill you!” He shot up, grasping her face in his hands, his black eyes wide as he stared into her own.

“I know.”

“You foolish witch! What would make you think I would want to survive you!?” He snarled, his fingers digging almost painfully into her face. She was happy though, that had snapped him out of it rather quickly.

“I didn’t think you would. I thought you would find the antidote before I died. But in order to do that you have to wake up.” She gave him a smirk and he snarled at her, his lips crashing into hers with force.

“Hermione…” He trailed, looking around when they broke away, his face unsure.

“Severus, you promised you would come back to me.” She cleared her throat, her face set in stone.  
“If you love me, you will pull yourself out of this, you will brew the antidote and you will save me.” He cupped her face with his hand as he spoke, black eyes sparkling with unshed tears.

“Hermione, you know I love you.” He rasped and she gave a nod, covering his hand with her own.

“Then you have work to do.” He winced, black eyes closing for a moment. She could see him fading from in front of her, he was waking up. Harry would be there to greet him, to catch him up on all she’d done to prepare for his waking.

She had the ingredients together, he had but to brew the antidote and she had but to hope she survived the waiting.

“Merlin witch.” He bit out one last time, kissing her softly before he vanished from in front of her eyes completely. She looked around her eyes wide on the pure whiteness of the space she occupied and sighed.

“Guess this is my dream now.” And with a thought she was in a cozy library, a book in her hands and a cover over her lap as she sat in front of a roaring fireplace.

She had reading to do anyway.


	16. Fifteen ☽ The End

Severus and Hermione sat, curled together in their sitting room on a long brown sofa. Each held a book in hand and were reading peacefully, pausing every so often to grant one another little caresses and soft kisses before diving back into their books.

It was peaceful, it was everything he’d ever wanted from his life and he’d finally found it with the witch. His witch.

They’d been married almost as soon as he’d managed to wake here with the antidote. Clever witch she’d already found it, and lined up everything he needed to brew. It had taken him a bit longer than it might’ve, adjusting to being awake had been somewhat difficult.

He remembered the day his thoughts on the witch had begun to shift, seemingly so long ago. And it was, they’d been married for five years now, and had been together for almost a full seven. She’d been in the library, crying over that book and he’d looked at her, and he’d seen something else. Not an insufferable know it all, not a brat looking for attention.

Just a woman, broken and damaged by the things that were happening in her life.

He’d set into motion a way to be closer to her after that, requesting that Dumbledore allow him to have her as a sort of apprentice, as well as give him someone to talk to with whom his secrets would be safe.

As he stared down at her from the corner of his eye, the swell of her stomach pressed into his side, her face content.

He could trust her to keep so much more than his secrets safe.

He could trust her to keep their child safe, to keep him safe.

She’d proven she’d go to the ends of the earth for him, and now he would prove to her he would do the same, for her, for their family.

“Severus, is everything okay?” She looked up at him, concern written across her features and he gave her a genuine smile, his book settled aside so he could stroke a hand through her long brown hair.

“Everything is absolutely perfect.” He bent to kiss her, moving her own book to the sofa beside her as he pulled her into his lap and deepened their kiss.

She smiled dizzily when they broke apart and gave him a curious look. “What was that for?”

“Being the best thing to ever happen to me.” She beamed a smile at him and latched her lips to his again, a kiss filled with all of love.

“The feeling is mutual.” She grinned, and he believed her, he believed her all the way in the pit of his stomach.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!


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